Prayer and Immersion (5 min. read)

As part of my fiscal year reading (September-August), I chose to read about prayer. Feeling impressed to think through the doctrine of prayer more, I dug in. In general, my prayer life is inconsistent and my prayers seem, at times, inarticulate and vague. All the more reason, then, to study, to think, to experience what God has for me.

In beginning my approach, I looked at a variety of resources. I looked at book lists, websites, even YouTube. I wanted to get an overview of what some of the best resources might be, and I wanted my year in this doctrine to matter. I wanted it to be beneficial, and I wanted to be deeper in my relationship with God. Perhaps I’ll write more about this process in a future post, but today I wanted to share some insights from my current reading.

I started Timothy Keller’s work – “Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God.” To put a fine point on it – it is incredible! I actually had to slow down and revisit sections in order to “marinate” in them longer. I have no doubt that this is a resource God is using to deepen my relationship with him. As an example, here is the latest fare that I have enjoyed.

In a chapter titled “Conversing with God,” Keller introduces this concept of prayer being tied to the Bible. For theological nuance – the strength or depth of my prayer life is correlated to my immersion in the Word of God. Prima facie, this is what you would expect. But, as I let that truth sink in a bit deeper, “marinate,” if you will, I saw with more clarity. I understood that the actual relational development that takes place, the connection that happens, between my reading in the Bible and my expression of this through prayer is unavoidably tied together. Keller puts it this way, “We speak only to the degree we are spoken to.” So, prayer rises out of immersion in the Scripture. As God speaks to us, so we speak back to him. Per Keller,

“We should ‘plunge ourselves into the sea’ of God’s language, the Bible. We should listen, study, think, reflect, and ponder the Scriptures until there is an answering response in our hearts and minds. It may be one of shame or of joy or of confusion or of appeal – but that response to God’s speech is then truly prayer and should be given to God. If the goal of prayer is a real, personal connection with God, then it is only by immersion in the language of the Bible that we will learn to pray, perhaps just as slowly as a child learns to speak.”

I often hear about how prayer is connecting with God, but I began to piece it together with more understanding. One of many elements is that having a relationship with someone is predicated on the depth of communication that takes place between us. I can be surface level in that communication or I can go deeper, accepting and allowing for vulnerability. In immersing myself in the Bible, I enter into this disclosure, this revelation of God himself to me. Then, as I read, and as I converse, this elicits prayer from me. It’s often why, when people are gathered to pray and you hear someone pray in such a personal, deep way, you instinctively know that they have “been with God.” By the very prayer itself, you know they spend time with God, they have a life that is immersed in Him.

The parallel seems obvious, and it works much like our other relationships. Friends have deep friendships because they share their life with one another. They “immerse” themselves in “reading the pages” of their friend’s life, and then they converse, deeply, in turn with one another. The same is true for husbands and wives. When you feel like you’re living with a room mate, you can be sure that, among other considerations, you’ve stopped “immersing” yourself in the “reading of your spouses life.” If communication is shallow, confusing, banal, or untethered, you’ve not been immersing yourself in the relationship.
My students face this constantly. I recently asked them why they felt like dating was exciting? They looked at me horrified. Once we got over that initial shock of a teacher asking about dating, they said: “well, because you talk to one another.” Right, but its more than that. You disclose, you “reveal” yourself more to a person, and as you “reveal” and they “reveal” then excitement builds because you are building a relationship, and you talk endlessly for hours. But, at some point, someone pulls back on the “revealing.” A boundary emerges that one or both parties refuse to cross. The relationship lessens in strength because the communication lessened in depth and frequency. Likewise, this seems to happen in relationship with God. We need a discipline of “immersion” in the Bible, so that our relationship with God is strengthened. As God speaks to us, so then do we speak to him, in prayer, in this wonderful experience where we are known deeply, and fully, and where we find the joy and ability to say and express our hearts. The quality of the relationship being so strong that discipline turns to desire, and prayer becomes the great joy and pleasure of one’s life.

In reading this section from Keller’s book, I was incredibly encouraged. I felt like, for the first time, I gained incredible insight into the point and experience of prayer. To be sure, there are times when my prayer life seems difficult, that there is a struggle, though I am immersing myself in the reading of my Bible. But to get clarity on the relational aspect, and to see and be reminded again of the essential connection between the reading of the Word and prayer has been a wonderful gift of grace. I’m happy to have shared this with you today, and hope that it challenges and encourages you in your own relationship with God.

Paying Respect to Ruth Bader Ginsburg (5 min. read)

I heard of the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg through Facebook. Doing a typical scroll through my thread, the first posts began to appear, noting the death of the Supreme Court Justice. Inwardly: I groaned.

I groaned because there would be a large number of people that would celebrate her passing as a political victory or who would equate her passing to divine judgment. Then, there would be a number of people, friends, as they go, on Facebook and Twitter threads, who would view this as a good day, a “banner” day. Ruth Bader Ginsburg would not be given the general, universal courtesy of being “paid respect.” Her humanity, as someone made in the imago dei, would be “overlooked.”.

Later that day:

I read it in silence. I groaned again. As one goes for memes, I might be a connoisseur, if one can be that in the realm of memes. This one, though, I’d rather not taste. Tacit in the meme is a hint of Pharisaism: “We, the righteous, stand back now and watch as you get your ‘just desserts,’ the judgment you deserve that you did not give to others.” I understand the “thinking” behind a meme such as this one, and I even understand the uproar that has been generated because of RBG’s passing. I know of the importance, the significance, and the expediency in which such things hit our culture. But what I tire of is the vilification, the dehumanization. I think Tim Keller puts it best:

“I’ve been asked why it is especially wrong for Christians to speak of their opponents in a demonizing and dehumanizing way. Historic Christians believe that our sin has made us worthy of condemnation and hell. From those living respectable lives to those leading criminal lives, all of us fall infinitely (and therefore equally) short of loving and serving God in the way that is due him. Therefore, we can only be saved through Christ by sheer grace. The Westminster Confession of Faith 15:4 say “As there is no sin so small, but it deserves damnation; so there is no sin so great, that it can bring damnation upon those who truly repent.” (Rom 6:23; Gal 3:10; Is 55:7; Rom 8:1) So Christians can never feel morally superior to any one else at all. That means (MAIN POINT) when we call out evildoing in others, as vital as that is, we can never imply by our attitude or language that they deserve God’s condemnation, but we do not. Therefore: “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth…” (2 Timothy 2:24-26) Right now our very social fabric is tearing apart because of, among other things, increasing, mutual demonizations ON BOTH SIDES. Christians must not contribute to this in any way.”

Within hours, the “spirit” behind the meme was manifested into arguments for political positioning, and supreme court speculation. There was so much preoccupation about conceptualizations of power, and “fill-the-seat” debates that there was little consideration to pause about silence, grief, or respect in the face of national loss. As Al Mohler said, ” From the onset, we must recognize that a human being has died—a human being who lived her life before the American people for the better part of five decades.” Seemingly, what we got was equal parts judgment, equal parts grief, and loss for a real moment to express honor and respect, in its many needed forms.

In fairness, there were a number of thoughtful posts. One I commend to you, and from which I quoted above, is by Al Mohler, which you can find here. Another one, from Mere Orthodoxy, I commend to you here. A third, from the Washington Post: here.

Much has been said about the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Indeed much more will be said in the coming days. In many and varied ways, I do not align with RBG’s political or philosophical views. But, putting that aside, I do express and pay my respects to her. As Mohler says, “Christians looking at the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg ought to recognize and respect her courage—a courage that kept her in her role far longer than many could have sustained. Furthermore, Christians ought to grieve with those who lost a loved one.” If anything, we should express love fully, and not make the mistake of thinking that love and forgiveness is a renouncement of conviction. We can pay our respects, and show others a better way.

“Catching Bids” (3 min. read)

Over the summer I read: “Cherish: The One Word that Changes Everything for Your Marriage” by author Gary Thomas. I wanted to read something that would help me love my wife better. I found the book to be a delight and highly recommend it to you.

Thomas uses an analogy in his book called “catching bids.” The idea is that, on a daily basis, spouses make regular “bids” for attention. Thomas says, “In our language, we could describe these bids as the question, “Do you still cherish me? What the spouse does in response to these bids has a huge impact on marital connection and happiness.” The idea: as you “catch” more bids, you demonstrate to your spouse that you love them, that you cherish them. Thomas gives an example, “Think of a baseball hitter at the plate. Once the pitch is thrown, it counts. The batter can let the ball go by, swing and miss, or hit the ball. But the pitch counts. Every time your spouse makes a ‘bid,’ a pitch is thrown and you have a decision to make.” Not to overstate the obvious, but “catching bids” is an essential skill in loving your spouse. To learn their unique “pitch,” to respond in turn is to love and cherish them. This takes time, but it’s not overly complicated. You know when your spouse has sent you a “pitch,” a “bid” to “catch.”

What I found surprising was not just in the application this has towards my wife but also towards my children. Our kids “cast bids” for our time and attention, our affection and love. They want security, they want loyalty, they want acceptance. When my kids simply say, “Daddy, will you play with me” I now hear it as, “Daddy, do you cherish me?” My kids cast “bids” and deserve nothing less than me swinging at the ball.

The applications, in hindsight, are numerous. We might be bombarded by “bids” from numerous sources on a daily basis, and one could go deeper into the nuances of what qualifies as a “bid” and what does not. For myself, I tie it directly to my family. My wife and my kids deserve to be cherished on a daily basis. As Thomas says, “Cherish means to go out of our way to notice someone, appreciate someone, honor someone, and hold someone dear.” When I catch my family’s bids, I cherish and honor them. I do a good thing, and contribute to our flourishing life.

This week, try the practice of “catching bids.” Learn for yourself the opportune ways in which you can love your family, and help them feel cherished.